Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Time Is Slipping Away. :(

To put it bluntly, I've been a bit emotional lately. (Like crying-at-my-computer-as-I-look-through-pictures-of-the-kids kind of emotional.)

Despite my lack of sleep (because there's always a kid waking up in the night), I consider these the sweetest days of my life. 
{Grayson. Oh, Grayson. You have the most special place in my heart, sweet boy!!!!!!}

Next school year, Grayson will be in pre-k, and I can't explain the immense pressure I feel to make each day with him count. 
He's NEVER been in Mother's Day Out or been with a babysitter. The most he's been away from me is when Grams has watched him a few times for a couple of hours. 

I quit my job to raise him (and now Sutton), which tightened the budget. Thus, paying for MDO wasn't ever an option. 
Do I want a break from the kids sometimes? Of course! Every mom needs a break. 

But, I know that I'll never get this time with them back - and that tips the scales in terms of me being with them most of the time.
It's kind of scary to just release him out in the world where I can't watch every move he makes. What if other kids are mean to him? What if no one understands why he's mad/frustrated and they end up thinking he's a basket case? (He's a bit strong-willed at times when it comes to specific things.)
I realize I can't control everything...and I know it will be good for him. But, I'm a mom, and moms tend to over-worry. Or at least I do. About my kids.

I am just being honest. We all have our "worry areas."
And, because seeing my kids laugh throughout the day brings me immeasurable joy, I don't want this time to end. 
I always want to watch Grayson swing off this branch.
You know??

Thought For the Day: At the end of the day, we have to trust the Lord with our children. I pray that He will keep protective angels around my kids at all times.






3 comments:

Allison White said...

Ok Mere....Now you made me cry too!!! This was such a great post and something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. Im so thankful for our family! Those are some sweet sweet pictures!! Love you.

chateau chic said...

It's always refreshing to hear about a Mom who chooses the hardest, yet most rewarding, job by staying home to care for their family. Pouring yourself into your children, which I sense you have, will pay big dividends. When I read your post today, Meredith, I just wanted to hopefully encourage you because our culture is constantly fighting against the family.
Thanks for stopping by for a visit and your sweet comments!
Mary Alice

Anet said...

great family)