Tuesday, January 18, 2011

"No" Is a Complete Sentence

As of two years ago, I've given myself the permission to say no. No to extracurricular activities, social outings, working obscene hours (before I quit my job), or doing something simply because...well...I really don't want to do it.

Okay, I know that as adults, sometimes (more like ALL THE TIME) we do things that we don't want to do because we have to.

But, (and you women know what I'm talking about) a lot of the time we say yes to extra obligations because we don't want to hurt someone's feelings or feel guilty.
My husband doesn't understand why women can't just say "no" and stop feeling so obligated to please everyone.

As a man, there's no way he can "get" how sensitive a lot of people can be. Yet, he has a point. No is liberating. No is hard. No is awesome.

Of course, the delivery is probably the trickiest part.

Now, if someone tells me no, I don't judge them or think less of them. I respect their ability to actually mutter the one word sentence.
In the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, he tells that when someone continues to try and persuade you (or act like they don't hear you) after you say no, then that person is trying to control you (for their own purposes).

I love that.

So, the next time you say no to anyone - your friend, your boss, a man trying to help you carry groceries, your child, fill in the blank - realize the power of what you've just said. If they don't "hear" you, that's not okay. No means no.

Thought For the Day: Give yourself permission to say no - without guilt or apologies. Taking care of yourself and not overextending yourself is important.

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