Friday, August 27, 2010
Breaking Up With Cheese
I’m serious. I am breaking up with cheese.
This is the truth. Last night, my husband asked for a back scratch. When I indicated I was too tired, he said, "Just pretend my back is cheese and you are grating it." Oh dear. I was literally speechless.
Quitting cheese will be quite the challenge, as I feed my son cheese every day.
As we all know, it’s a good source of calcium. Believe me, I have tried to use that line for my own justification. (Meredith, you NEED the cheese, as it is a good source of calcium. You don't want to develop osteoporosis, do you?).
It's not like I'm a mouse (or worse yet, a RAT). I just like it...a lot.
Let me paint you a picture:
Recently (while eating cheese), I was cutting off a few slices and nibbling. Don’t ask me how, but this lead to me walking around the house holding the block and eating it like a candy bar.
Clear wrapper pealed back and all. Not okay.
Which is why I need to just break up with cheese or, to borrow a line from Ross on Friends, go on a break. Let’s not even consider throwing bread in the mix. One thing at a time.
In the middle of writing or working on the computer at night, I start to crave it. Eating it with crackers is even better. This usually ends up with me standing at my kitchen island, knife in hand, in mild-cheddar bliss.
The song is wrong: the cheese does NOT stand alone. I am there, too. And it is glorious.
Until someone invents a patch for cheese-heads like moi, I must demonstrate some self-control. I will even write myself a post-it note so there is no going back. Not a chance, right?
But first, I think I'll go and finish what I have in the refrigerator so that it will be gone and I won't be tempted.
Thought For the Day: Everything in moderation.
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